![]() But if you get creative, you can find a ton of ways to make the process easier for your children. Going between two houses and spending time apart from each parent can be really tough for kids too. “It keeps me feeling more in the loop on her Dad’s half and helps stop me from texting incessantly about any little thing because I know I will have a ‘family forum’ to discuss it properly each week.” Think outside the boxĬo-parenting isn’t just hard for the adults. “It has really helped us get along and communicate better,” reveals Angela. “We started that about six months ago after struggling with only communicating over text message.”Ī weekly call might even lead to a better relationship with your ex. “Every single Friday, we have a 15-minute co-parenting call in the morning to review our parenting agenda for the past week, covering basics like our daughter’s health, schooling, behavior, activities, finances, calendar changes, etc.,” says Angela. In both cases - and every other possible scenario in between those two extremes - arranging a weekly co-parenting call is an efficient way to communicate. And even if you can’t stand the sound of their voice, you’re still going to have to hear it now and again. If you’re on good terms with your ex, you might chat about everything from your kid losing a tooth to what’s on their birthday wish list. There’s always stuff to talk about when you have kids. ![]() Co-parenting is demanding enough without the added responsibility of being a 24/7 message service. This creates a more level playing field, which helps to minimize frustration and resentment, and avoids a “go-between” situation nobody wants to be in. By ensuring every teacher, team and friend’s parent has both parents’ contact information, Molly and her ex are both looped into the conversation. Think about how much contact you’d be willing to put up with and use that as a guide - even better, try to come to an agreement with your ex to put reasonable limits in place and let the kids know what to expect.Įven if things are amicable and communication is frequent, nobody wants to feel like a PA. But before you start texting and calling your kids constantly, remember that this is their time with their other parent. If your kids have their own devices, you can keep in touch with them without having to go through their other parent and instantly reduce the amount of stress you have to deal with, particularly if your relationship with your ex is acrimonious. “We got the kids their own phones so they always had access to both of us,” says Molly. Your kids’ mobile devices might be your biggest bugbear when they’re glued to them around the house, but cell phones and tablets can definitely work to your advantage when they’re with their other parent. “Any changes can be added by either parent and approved by the other after texting, calling or emailing about it.” “We share an iCalendar that has co-parenting schedule added in to keep it clear who is doing what,” says single mom Angela Wallace. A shared calendar to record the kids’ activities, each parent’s commitments, vacation time and any changes to the agreed custody and visitation schedule is a life-saver. Lots of co-parenting apps, such as Coparently and Cozi, include calendars, and, of course, there’s trusty old Google. To keep everyone organized, and keep communication with your ex to a minimum, a shared calendar is a must. When kids live in two houses, scheduling and sticking to arrangements for after-school activities, play dates, parties, medical appointments, etc. “It’s worthy to unite under that principle.” Create a calendar ” Remember: No one else on the planet loves your kids as much as your ex,” she says. For Molly, it serves as a reminder that her kids need their dad as much as they need her. Your mantra can be anything you want it to be, as long as it focuses and motivates you and inspires you to be your best self (in this case, your best parent). When things get challenging, this becomes my mantra.” ![]() “But the mindset that the other parent is as important to the health and wellbeing of your children is the first step in the right direction. “Co-parenting is never easy,” she admits. Single mom Molly McKinley has another great tip: Adopt a mantra. It takes patience, compromise and possibly lots of deep breaths/counting to 10/therapy. It’s impossible to just move on from someone without a backward glance when you share kids - some amount of interaction is necessary. ![]() For many co-parents, the toughest part is dealing with the ex.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |